I spotted Lucy Liu on the street a few weeks ago. I snapped a picture and put it on Facebook. Wrote something lame like “Hey, just spotted Lucy Liu on the street! She’s hot!” and I tagged her. My friends commented “Nice” and so on, but that was it.
Except … now I started getting weird ads. You know, probably because I tagged her. It would recommend me to watch Charlie’s Angels on Hulu and stuff like that. Really weird.
Then one day, late at night, I was watching porn and there was an ad headlined “Fuck Lucy Liu tomorrow!”. I had no idea how they could target that ad to me based on my Facebook comment. I guess the interweb is more intertwined than I had ever imagined.
I saw it again a few days later. I had had a few brewskies at that point, so I clicked the ad. It told me to pay $100 for a night with Lucy Liu and that I would get the time and place after paying. Completely idiotic, no one would ever fall for something like that. Except I did! I actually paid the $100, although I knew it was going to be a hoax.
Apparently they wanted to take the hoax a step further than I had imagined, because they actually send me a time and a place. “Tomorrow night at 10 pm in the basement behind Inn Hintenhoff, the local pub.
I figured it was going to be some kind of hoax, maybe someone would be there to rob me or something like that. Instead of not going, I decided to call my friends. If there are 5 of us, we’d be quite safe, I figured.
When we arrived, there was no one to greet us, but the door was unlocked so we went in and down the stairs. The sight we found was not what we expected.
“OMG!” one of my friends said, actually saying the abbreviation. “Is that really … Lucy Liu”.
She seemed to be sleeping. We went up close and looked at her. “Hmm … no actually it isn’t, it’s some other asian lady”.
“Dude, you got ripped off” he said. “That’s not Lucy Liu!”
We all looked at each other, then looked down on her. Then we carefully started fondling her. “While we’re here…” my friend said and gently patted her.
He pulled out his cock and started moving it into her vagina. She made a sound as he did. The rest of us pulled our cocks out too. They wouldn’t fit in our pants anyway at this point.
“Careful, you’re waking her” I said to me friend.
He kind of laughed. “I guess she is – what’s the problem?”
“Yeah” one of the other guys went “Let’s wake her properly then!” he said and shoved his cock into her mouth. That did the trick! In the mean time, another guy went for a pussy and fucked her harder so there was no longer any doubt hat she was awake.
“Oh yeah, yeah, yeah” my friend said – he was really enjoying it. We realized he was actually cumming in her. “Dude, you messed her up” another guy said.
“I know, she doesn’t seem to mind”.
She did in fact seem to mind – but she didn’t say anything. Not sure if she could. She could just make moaning sounds.
I got the sloppy seconds and counted myself lucky I wasn’t getting sloppy thirds, fourths or fifths. I came in her too and each of us took over and fucked her till the cum was gushing out of her pussy.
“That was … different. How much did you say you paid?” my friend asked me.
“I paid $100 yesterday then I just got this address” I explained.
“And it said it would be Lucy Liu?”
“Dude!” my friend laughed “How naive can you be? Lucy Liu would never go for a deal like that!”